Trouble at LoD

I must abandon the Time Machine project for a time. My energy must go elsewhere for a while. In fact, I fear I must create a very big distraction.

If you are not aware of this (and I have no reason to believe that you would), Scarecrow has some odd sleeping habits: essentially he’s a narcoleptic in denial.

There was one incident last year when we left him in charge of the SkyFi to watch a “situation” develop between Brainiac, Sinestro and I, as we were breaking into the Batplane. It was very dangerous, and he had to be ready to fire the satellite laser to cover us in case we were caught. We even left him a pot of coffee.

Another interesting note: Brainiac has NOT the capacity to whisper. Android. So while inside of the Batplane he starts to expound upon the onboard computer and navigation system. Loudly. An alarm goes off, we hear voices and fortunately Sinestro flew us out of there quickly before anyone saw us.

We get back to LoD, and can you guess what Scarecrow had done. Asleep on the SkyFi panel. And he still denied it.

Back to my story. Without my knowledge, Scarecrow has been napping upon occasion in my study. Because it’s quiet. He sneaks in while I’m working out or meditating, and nods off under my work bench. It’s a very big bench. He must’ve have heard me discussing my formulas, or programming (I talk to myself when I work alone.) And word leaked out to the Legion that I was working on the Time Machine again.

Of course everyone became quite paranoid. Why I put this group of “super villains” together, I’m still wondering. If only I knew then what I know now.

I did, however, deny all of this, and was able to disable my work before Brainiac came to inspect my work bench.

I must distract them with something different, and get back to the project. It must be a group project. You ideas are welcome and encouraged.

LexThought 9: Considering a new color scheme. I still love the purple/green combo, and I think those colors work well for me. Considering black/red. Afraid of the further confusion, however, it would cause in distinguishing between Brainiac and myself.

Did you see Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman? I have my doubts about his music career. However, considering offering him my services. A fragile mind with high profile: good news for the LoD.

no internet no brains

It’s unclear whether we lost our internet connection because of an unpaid bill (Toy Man’s job) or because suspicious content in our emails or web browsing (could have been anyone here. Another gift to LoD from Cheney.)

Regardless, Braniac and I spent the last 5 days working on a new connection. Obviously we found one. We had to graph one of our LegionHubs to the nearest bank’s T1 line, and set up a series of redundant relays to the swamp. It took a lot of cable and digging with Grundy. Of course he wouldn’t let us forget how much he was helping us.

An hour or two of this sort of backwards tracking is depressing, at the least. It’s been five days of this. I am WAY BEYOND THIS! No time for workouts. No time for the time machine. No time for meditation. No time for visualizations. No Page Six.

If Superman were watching me today from the HoJ, he must think me quite incompetent.

I need a different image before I retire for the night.

The New Universe

More pie

Realizing I needed to get to the bottom of the pie issue to continue my time machine testing, I engaged the villains today. 

Engagement 1) I asked Toy Man to make 24 pies today, and told him that they were for a relative’s surprise wedding. I didn’t have another excuse handy, but he believed it. Who gets married on a Tuesday? Certainly NOT Toy Man.

Engagement 2) Weigh in. I took precise measurements of every LoD member today, including weight and body fat. I insisted it was for insurance purposes. They all believed that as well. I will do this again tomorrow to see if one of them has been eating the pies over and over and over again. 

I know what you are thinking. Rather than going through all of this silliness, at the next meeting I should simply explain to the villains that I am conducting an experiment with the time machine. If they see a random Toy Man pie lying about the LoD, they should leave it be. After all, this is in the name of destroying the Super Friends and Superman and all of our nemesises (nemesi ?), why wouldn’t they cooperate?

I don’t trust them. If they find out I’m working on this again accusations will fly. They’ll believe I’ll secretly go back in time and take away their super powers. Or worse, be sure they are raised in a loving home instead of the orphanage. Chaos would rule the day. No. No this is my journey. My plan. My revenge.

LexThought 7) I’m considering either the base of my neck or my elbows for this tattoo. If it’s the base of my neck, I might want old english letters with L.L. One con: I don’t want to be affiliated with LL Bean if  I do that. The next time I’m at the grocery store I’m sure that will be the first comment I get and I’ll regret whatever I do to that poor person. If it’s the elbows, possibly DNA strands in a spider web form. 

Off to a late night workout.

Braniac needs a hand

Today Braniac’s parts arrived. I forgot to enable the imbedded water mines on the entry road, and the UPS truck must have shown up while I was meditating. 

After my workout (not a good one today. Black Manta wouldn’t say a word to me. Very tense.) Braniac came banging on my lair door.

“Luth-Or, Luth-Or, I need your help. Meet me in the workshop.”

I thought he had left the outside of my door, and accidentally let out a very loud sigh.

“Luth-Or! I know you are inside. We have a Brain Wave Amplifier to work on if you want to defeat that Krypto-fool and his superfreaks.”

I don’t think Braniac knows the full definition of “superfreak”.

I know this idea of his won’t work, but I humor him. There are aspects of the unconscious and his negative pulse cosine that are incompatible. I want to see him fail in front of the others so they will know who has the real ideas in this Legion.

All I did was hold the flashlight for him. He insisted he had no other way of holding the flashlight. I have my doubts. But Sinestro could’ve held the flash light. Not Grundy or Grodd. Cheetah could have done it, Toy Man could’ve done it. Black Manta…maybe not this week. Probably not Scarecrow, he does have a tendency to spark fires. Riddler, what was wrong with asking Riddler? Plus Braniac has all of those robots in his closet. 

I didn’t last long, said I had a headache, and went back for visualizations and mantra. 

My life without Superman. My life without Superman. My life without Superman. 

The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine.

During my visualizations, an image came to me. It involved Hawkman, the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade and ball bearings. It was very vague, but I think it might be a clue.

On the SkyFi today I watched Polly Draper get a car pool ticket on the 405. Remember her, from ‘thirtysomething.’ I liked that show, for a while.

Putting out Fires

Team Building Workshop: Fire Walking.

That’s what our ‘training’ was today. 

They sent a new ‘trainer’. He had a hard time finding a place to light a fire in the swamp. 

Sinestro set a fire, albeit a fake yellow fire, on the roof of the Legion of Doom. We all went up there.

“Okay people, I’ll show you how we’ll do this! This is going to psych you up! You will do things you never before believed possible! Now follow me as I walk across this fire path!”

He ran into the fire and Sinestro made the fire bigger. Please, it wasn’t real. We went back inside and left him on the roof. 

After a few hours Black Manta felt sorry for him and gave him a ride back to Citibank.

I did get in a good workout. Lots of cardio today, and a yoga session afterwards. To top it off, I didn’t have to help Braniac today as the parts he ordered for his ‘project’ didn’t arrive. Maybe the fire and screaming workshop trainer scared off the UPS driver.

I have a new idea involving my abandoned time machine project. More on this as it develops.

The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine.

I’ve been following the Brodericks with the SkyFi system. More broadway shows together. Definitely fishy. 

Why don’t we hear more about Zsa Zsa anymore? Setting SkyFi coordinates for Beverly Hills for the next 24 hours.

Today’s Team Building Workshop: Unity Drumming

Feeling very isolated.

Superman is still out there, I’m still here. I did my visualizations. The mantra.

Then we had our workshop.

I don’t recall who came up with this idea. I have a feeling it was probably someone at Citibank. Once they started funding LOD Enterprises, we had to jump through a few hoops. Not the way I would have done things, but this was Braniac’s idea. Of course whenever Braniac has a good idea, everyone listens.

To get things started, today’s workshop was “unity drumming’. 

I did not participate.

You can probably guess who did. Grundy and Grodd like to bang drums. The workshop director took their drums away and Grundy yanked his arms from their sockets. He won’t be back tomorrow. Grundy spent the rest of the day crying about it.

Riddler gave me a riddle today. He claims it will tighten my focus. I was going to look at it, but he wrote it on the back of a bill, and I believe Toy Man sent all the bills out today. 

After team building tomorrow, I’m supposed to help Braniac with his “Brain Wave Amplifier”. I can’t say I’m looking forward to it. He has a tendency to take over every situation. 

Team Building workshop tomorrow: Fire Walking.

Do they know what we do for a living?

The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine.

New Visualizations

I put these up in my lair today.

They are helpful to imagining my ideal world. I don’t want the others to see them, so no one is allowed in the lair. Toy Man saw me working on Photoshop a bit today. But I don’t think he saw anything.

LexThought 6: Should I change my last name to Luther, or Luthur. It sounds better than LuthOR. More like Luther Vandross. 

The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine.

Tomorrow:  Legion of Doom Team building Workshop. Can’t wait.