delays delays

My apologies for the lack of news. There just hasn’t been much to report. 

Black Manta did head to California, and will be working on the camera system at Phoenix’ house while he is gone. Apparently he and Giganta and the ‘film crew’ went to Florida. I am thinking of heading there later to follow some of this up close. I don’t want to create a stir, however. If I am recognized, this could blow the plan.

I have reduced now to 1.5% body fat. I’m quite pleased with that.

Weather machine is at 35% completion, and time machine is at 25% completion. 

I hope to have more tomorrow.



Today we are waiting for a shipment of new gauges, relays and other various parts for our machines. 

We are also awaiting word from Giganta. Sometimes a break in communication on an assignment like this is good news. 

In the meantime I can tell you about one of the things that Superman does that I find reprehensible. 

I have found myself trapped in the cell at the Hall of Justice from time to time. Usually not for long. But it has happened as I wait for someone at LoD to come find me. 

I was forced to watch Superman eat his dinner in front of my cell one evening while he questioned me. It’s quite easy to ignore Superman’s questions. He won’t do anything to you if you don’t answer. Wonder Woman, on the other hand…well I’ll stick to Superman.

Superman will make terrible noises with his cutlery on the plate as he cuts and slices his food. I know he can simply cut it with his eyes, and that ray that he shoots out of them. Wouldn’t that be easier? What? Is he trying to ‘fit in’ at the Hall of Justice? Hopeless.

Anyhow, here is the real stomach-churning item. In addition to making these maddening noises with the knife and fork, he refuses to use more than one napkin. To be clear, one paper napkin. If it was a cloth napkin, I would have no problem with this idiosyncrasy. But as he eats, this napkin becomes torn, shredded, stained, and translucent. It simply turns my stomach. It hangs from his chin in pieces. Food then hangs from the shreds. Hideous. Filthy.

I must stop and do my meditations. My visualizations.


Giganta has been relocated for assignment. However, it seems there are a lot of males in the area who have taken to wearing Joaquin Phoenix disguises. Every bar and restaurant on Sunset has someone wearing a large beard and sunglasses. 

We have already contacted his agency, and have a scheduled meeting but we don’t anticipate that he’ll show. I’ve had the SkyFi on in the area, but I am seeing too many look-a-likes. It’s nothing that we can’t surpass and conquer, but it does slow down our plans. Giganta is meeting with several hip-hop producers in the area as well, which may help encourage his mindset. 

Progress on both machines went well today. I have stored old KimChi in a box in my lair, which has discouraged Scarecrow, and the others from visiting. So I was able to make quite a bit of progress today.

Still thinking about this vision I had some time ago with Hawkman, and the ball bearings. As the answers are revealed I will post them here.

Must keep this short, Barbara Walters is on now.


The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine.

Smooth Transitions

There has been progress on the weather machine. Brainiac is focused, and this seems to have galvanized many here in LoD. I am somewhat aghast at how well this seems to be working. In fact, I’ve become suspicious.

I haven’t had a lot of time to work on the time machine, and I need to. I need to keep it at the same pace as the LoD’s weather machine, but I’m behind. Looks like I’ll be taking a few days off at the gym. 

I confess I have been distracted. 

This business with Joaquin Phoenix has me distracted with possibilities.

Many are not aware of Superman’s movie obsession. This surprises me. No one wondered why Superman was always clearing the freeways of traffic on Oscar night? The big screens ALL over at HoJ? No one writes about it, but most outdoor movie sets have to hire a gaffer or grip to go on Superman watch when cameras begin rolling. It’s not like they can keep him out of the sky when they film, but someone needs to note when it happens during a shoot so they can remember where they need to take him out of the scenes. 

LexThought 10) I need to start a series of posts, illustrating the small aspects of Superman’s personality that I hold to be abrasive. Perhaps you may gain insight to my singular and unfettering disdain for the man of steel. 

Back to J. Phoenix. Giganta is off to begin this assignment. She left today. We actually had to sedate Cheetah last night (Riddler had some trick cards with a spray that worked nicely. Where does he store all of this stuff?) so she would not insist on making the trip.

I spoke to Giganta and I think we have a good plan, but it all depends on gaining Phoenix’ trust through seduction. She hasn’t had much practice lately, and we haven’t tried this since an attempt with Tom Cruise. You can guess how that went. 

With her confidence low, we talked over her strong points. The fact that she can literally control how large she can grow at the drop of a hat is a big plus. After a few nights with her, I believe we can start him on our standard brainwash plan. Before he knows it we’ll have him placing quotes and ideas throughout Hollywood that will ultimately bring Superman to his knees. 

Well, that plus the weather machine, and the time machine.

The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine.

The Peter Principle

I can’t count on anyone.

Is it so hard to bake 24 pies? 

Today 12pm: 

“Toy Man, I need those pies.”


“24 pies. I needed them today for the wedding.”

“Oh yes. The wedding. Damn. Luthor, would tomorrow be okay for you? I got distracted with a new app I’m developing for our iPhones.”

“I needed them today! The wedding is today!”

He offered to make them tomorrow but if I held him to it, he’d ultimately be a bit suspicious. I was already pushing it with the Tuesday wedding bit.

I left headquarters for a few hours. They all thought I was going to a wedding. I had to go somewhere. 

Ended up in NY, roaming the theater district. No sign of Broderick and Sarah. Thought I might gain some insight if I ran into them and could observe them in person. No such luck tonight.

LexThought 8: Decided against any piercings. Tattoos yes (though not decided on where or what) but the piercings would be an achilles heel.

More pie

Realizing I needed to get to the bottom of the pie issue to continue my time machine testing, I engaged the villains today. 

Engagement 1) I asked Toy Man to make 24 pies today, and told him that they were for a relative’s surprise wedding. I didn’t have another excuse handy, but he believed it. Who gets married on a Tuesday? Certainly NOT Toy Man.

Engagement 2) Weigh in. I took precise measurements of every LoD member today, including weight and body fat. I insisted it was for insurance purposes. They all believed that as well. I will do this again tomorrow to see if one of them has been eating the pies over and over and over again. 

I know what you are thinking. Rather than going through all of this silliness, at the next meeting I should simply explain to the villains that I am conducting an experiment with the time machine. If they see a random Toy Man pie lying about the LoD, they should leave it be. After all, this is in the name of destroying the Super Friends and Superman and all of our nemesises (nemesi ?), why wouldn’t they cooperate?

I don’t trust them. If they find out I’m working on this again accusations will fly. They’ll believe I’ll secretly go back in time and take away their super powers. Or worse, be sure they are raised in a loving home instead of the orphanage. Chaos would rule the day. No. No this is my journey. My plan. My revenge.

LexThought 7) I’m considering either the base of my neck or my elbows for this tattoo. If it’s the base of my neck, I might want old english letters with L.L. One con: I don’t want to be affiliated with LL Bean if  I do that. The next time I’m at the grocery store I’m sure that will be the first comment I get and I’ll regret whatever I do to that poor person. If it’s the elbows, possibly DNA strands in a spider web form. 

Off to a late night workout.

new workout

Black Manta has me on a new routine now. 

I can’t tell if he’s trying to help me, as he’s giving me a lot of crunches.

I hate crunches. He knows that.

During workouts I have trouble with his annunciation. From this morning’s workout:

[warble android voice] “elevwen, twelvwe, dirteen, fawrteen, fibteen, zzzzzteen, zzzeznteen”

“Fifteen? Sixteen? How many reps is that?”

[warble android voice] ” youwr not ebeen tryning! zzaznteen, eebteen, worbk it!”

“Did you change your battery pack today? You’re breaking up again.”

[warble android voice] “Youw knowb I’mb senstitib to datb!”

And he storms off. I think he’s plotting something without me. He’s been awfully chummy with Grundy lately. 

LexThought 4: I wish Cheetah would stop confusing me with Braniac. 

LexThought 5: Considering a tattoo. Idea’s where? Not the head!