Weather Machine Distraction

I have a new plan.

As I have mentioned, I needed a distraction to keep the others here at LoD busy with a project so they will not be aware of my work on the Time Machine project. I’ve found the project.

I’ve turned over plans to Brainiac and Toy Man so they can get started on the weather machine. I included the schematic, and CAD work I had done to get this built. They’ll have plenty to do, and they need to wait for some gauges/meters to show up to finish it. Anyhow, I did a presentation last night that seemed to get everyone excited about the project. The pitch:

We can control the Super Friends if we can control the weather. We can distract them with ‘natural disasters’ around the planet. They’ll be busy saving people while we get away with whatever we want. The world will be at our mercy. Eventually we can hold the planet ransom, and will control the world by extorting the climate. It is a brilliant plan.

It has it’s flaws. I tried it once before, but I sold them on the idea that I’d corrected all of these flaws. 

In the meantime, I have redesigned the Time Machine to use the same CAD designs as the weather machine, so once I start to rebuild it, it will look the same as the weather machine. I will simply tell them that I’m building a backup. 

The win-win of this is that both machines will be extremely useful, once they are in perfect working condition. It could happen. 

Scarecrow is asleep under the workbench now. I installed a hidden camera there, and in various ‘sleep spots’ throughout LoD, so I can keep tabs on him at all times. I shall not let that last mistake occur again. I’ve also developed some unconscious suggestive audio that plays at a frequency which only affects Scarecrow. It’s designed to encourage trust and loyalty between us. If it’s successful, I will develop frequencies for everyone at LoD. Long term project, to be sure.

I just installed a webcam for my lair, so that you may see me here from time to time. A visual may help illustrate my isolation. My next post will include a still photo to give you an idea of how it will look. Your suggestions are welcome.

We made contact with J. Phoenix’ publicist this week. We are deciding who to send to meet with him first. I’m of the opinion that Giganta might be a good choice. Cheetah may come on too strong. We’re having a meeting tonight to discuss. The last time Cheetah went out on similar assignment, we ended up with Joe Pesci as a roommate. For 3 months.


Trouble at LoD

I must abandon the Time Machine project for a time. My energy must go elsewhere for a while. In fact, I fear I must create a very big distraction.

If you are not aware of this (and I have no reason to believe that you would), Scarecrow has some odd sleeping habits: essentially he’s a narcoleptic in denial.

There was one incident last year when we left him in charge of the SkyFi to watch a “situation” develop between Brainiac, Sinestro and I, as we were breaking into the Batplane. It was very dangerous, and he had to be ready to fire the satellite laser to cover us in case we were caught. We even left him a pot of coffee.

Another interesting note: Brainiac has NOT the capacity to whisper. Android. So while inside of the Batplane he starts to expound upon the onboard computer and navigation system. Loudly. An alarm goes off, we hear voices and fortunately Sinestro flew us out of there quickly before anyone saw us.

We get back to LoD, and can you guess what Scarecrow had done. Asleep on the SkyFi panel. And he still denied it.

Back to my story. Without my knowledge, Scarecrow has been napping upon occasion in my study. Because it’s quiet. He sneaks in while I’m working out or meditating, and nods off under my work bench. It’s a very big bench. He must’ve have heard me discussing my formulas, or programming (I talk to myself when I work alone.) And word leaked out to the Legion that I was working on the Time Machine again.

Of course everyone became quite paranoid. Why I put this group of “super villains” together, I’m still wondering. If only I knew then what I know now.

I did, however, deny all of this, and was able to disable my work before Brainiac came to inspect my work bench.

I must distract them with something different, and get back to the project. It must be a group project. You ideas are welcome and encouraged.

LexThought 9: Considering a new color scheme. I still love the purple/green combo, and I think those colors work well for me. Considering black/red. Afraid of the further confusion, however, it would cause in distinguishing between Brainiac and myself.

Did you see Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman? I have my doubts about his music career. However, considering offering him my services. A fragile mind with high profile: good news for the LoD.

no internet no brains

It’s unclear whether we lost our internet connection because of an unpaid bill (Toy Man’s job) or because suspicious content in our emails or web browsing (could have been anyone here. Another gift to LoD from Cheney.)

Regardless, Braniac and I spent the last 5 days working on a new connection. Obviously we found one. We had to graph one of our LegionHubs to the nearest bank’s T1 line, and set up a series of redundant relays to the swamp. It took a lot of cable and digging with Grundy. Of course he wouldn’t let us forget how much he was helping us.

An hour or two of this sort of backwards tracking is depressing, at the least. It’s been five days of this. I am WAY BEYOND THIS! No time for workouts. No time for the time machine. No time for meditation. No time for visualizations. No Page Six.

If Superman were watching me today from the HoJ, he must think me quite incompetent.

I need a different image before I retire for the night.

The New Universe

The Peter Principle

I can’t count on anyone.

Is it so hard to bake 24 pies? 

Today 12pm: 

“Toy Man, I need those pies.”


“24 pies. I needed them today for the wedding.”

“Oh yes. The wedding. Damn. Luthor, would tomorrow be okay for you? I got distracted with a new app I’m developing for our iPhones.”

“I needed them today! The wedding is today!”

He offered to make them tomorrow but if I held him to it, he’d ultimately be a bit suspicious. I was already pushing it with the Tuesday wedding bit.

I left headquarters for a few hours. They all thought I was going to a wedding. I had to go somewhere. 

Ended up in NY, roaming the theater district. No sign of Broderick and Sarah. Thought I might gain some insight if I ran into them and could observe them in person. No such luck tonight.

LexThought 8: Decided against any piercings. Tattoos yes (though not decided on where or what) but the piercings would be an achilles heel.

More pie

Realizing I needed to get to the bottom of the pie issue to continue my time machine testing, I engaged the villains today. 

Engagement 1) I asked Toy Man to make 24 pies today, and told him that they were for a relative’s surprise wedding. I didn’t have another excuse handy, but he believed it. Who gets married on a Tuesday? Certainly NOT Toy Man.

Engagement 2) Weigh in. I took precise measurements of every LoD member today, including weight and body fat. I insisted it was for insurance purposes. They all believed that as well. I will do this again tomorrow to see if one of them has been eating the pies over and over and over again. 

I know what you are thinking. Rather than going through all of this silliness, at the next meeting I should simply explain to the villains that I am conducting an experiment with the time machine. If they see a random Toy Man pie lying about the LoD, they should leave it be. After all, this is in the name of destroying the Super Friends and Superman and all of our nemesises (nemesi ?), why wouldn’t they cooperate?

I don’t trust them. If they find out I’m working on this again accusations will fly. They’ll believe I’ll secretly go back in time and take away their super powers. Or worse, be sure they are raised in a loving home instead of the orphanage. Chaos would rule the day. No. No this is my journey. My plan. My revenge.

LexThought 7) I’m considering either the base of my neck or my elbows for this tattoo. If it’s the base of my neck, I might want old english letters with L.L. One con: I don’t want to be affiliated with LL Bean if  I do that. The next time I’m at the grocery store I’m sure that will be the first comment I get and I’ll regret whatever I do to that poor person. If it’s the elbows, possibly DNA strands in a spider web form. 

Off to a late night workout.

Super Bowl Sunday at LoD

I had a lot of time to myself today. 

Most of the Legion watched the game today. Bizarro Superman actually flew out to watch it live. While they were distracted I began working on the time machine project again.

I became so distracted I didn’t have time to work out or meditate today. 

Getting the machine back in shape was not so difficult. Testing the machine, however, is always trying. 

I can try to send inanimate objects back in time, which I’ll attempt first. There is no data on the experience of the object. However, I can take something like one of Toy Man’s homemade pies, a unique item to our time, and transport it back a day. If all events go unchanged after I send the pie back in time, there would be two pies in existence after I sent the pie back. 

On the other hand, if I send the pie back in time, and Grodd or Gundy happen to find it, they’ll eat it and they won’t tell anyone (Toy Man doesn’t share his pie). If they eat it, Toy Man will not know that it existed, and will go ahead with his plans to make the pie. And we will still have one pie.

If no one discovers the pie after I’ve sent it back in time 24 hours, then I should see 2 pies immediately after I send it back.

So far this result has not occurred. One pie, every time. As I said, testing the machine is difficult.

I remain optimistic. I even ate some buffalo wings today.

The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine.

Yes. It. Is.

Braniac needs a hand

Today Braniac’s parts arrived. I forgot to enable the imbedded water mines on the entry road, and the UPS truck must have shown up while I was meditating. 

After my workout (not a good one today. Black Manta wouldn’t say a word to me. Very tense.) Braniac came banging on my lair door.

“Luth-Or, Luth-Or, I need your help. Meet me in the workshop.”

I thought he had left the outside of my door, and accidentally let out a very loud sigh.

“Luth-Or! I know you are inside. We have a Brain Wave Amplifier to work on if you want to defeat that Krypto-fool and his superfreaks.”

I don’t think Braniac knows the full definition of “superfreak”.

I know this idea of his won’t work, but I humor him. There are aspects of the unconscious and his negative pulse cosine that are incompatible. I want to see him fail in front of the others so they will know who has the real ideas in this Legion.

All I did was hold the flashlight for him. He insisted he had no other way of holding the flashlight. I have my doubts. But Sinestro could’ve held the flash light. Not Grundy or Grodd. Cheetah could have done it, Toy Man could’ve done it. Black Manta…maybe not this week. Probably not Scarecrow, he does have a tendency to spark fires. Riddler, what was wrong with asking Riddler? Plus Braniac has all of those robots in his closet. 

I didn’t last long, said I had a headache, and went back for visualizations and mantra. 

My life without Superman. My life without Superman. My life without Superman. 

The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine. The universe is mine.

During my visualizations, an image came to me. It involved Hawkman, the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade and ball bearings. It was very vague, but I think it might be a clue.

On the SkyFi today I watched Polly Draper get a car pool ticket on the 405. Remember her, from ‘thirtysomething.’ I liked that show, for a while.